finallyfindingmybalance said: Your birth story was so interesting and I'm glad everything (pain aside) went well for you both. I'm super nervous about labor so was inspired by your rendition. Also Isla has a beautiful head of hair! I've been following you since before Dylan was born but can't for the life of me remember if he had so much hair at birth... Did he? Anyway I hope all is well and your journey with Isla is going well. Also curious how breast feeding is going this time?

Thank you so much.
I think the most helpful thing as far as labor is concerned is to try and not be to anxious about it. It’s an inevitability of pregnancy and our bodies are made to grow and birth babies. You’re doing crazy yoga for a pregnant woman, your body is strong. Those are massive positives for when it comes to giving birth.
Dylan had a lot if hair but nowhere near this much. In comparison he was pretty much bald.
Breastfeeding is going really well, thankfully. I’m producing crazy amounts of milk so it’s a good thing she’s feeding so well :)

perplexedlover said: Do you keep your instagram private? I'd like to follow you! Congrats on the little bird <3 You're a wonderful human being.

I don’t. It’s Holz105. There’s also a link at the top of my page.
I do have a private one, its hllylzbth, it’s to track my food/body/anorexia recovery. That ones private but I accept most people x

Recents from Instagram because I post there heaps.

Ten days old (midwife visit)

Our midwife came to do Isla’s ten day visit.
The blocked tear ducts that had been a part if her first few days have completely cleared up thanks to the magic of breastmilk and as that was the only thing we’d been told to keep an eye on everyone is happy.
Her cord fell off on the morning of day five and its healing really well, far better than Dylan’s did (fingers crossed it stays like that).
When we had our five day midwife visit she was weighed and had lost 2oz taking her down to 5lb4oz. Our aim was to get back up to her birth weight by day seven and hopefully add another ounce or two by day ten. Her nappies have been a good indication that she’s feeding really well so we seemed like we were on the right track. It’s important for her to gain weight quite quickly at first because she was on the brink of having a low birth weight that would be a cause of concern. Also due to her length and head circumference being above average it pushed her bmi down.
We didn’t expect her to have gained a sopping 12oz from her day five weight, taking her up to 5lb15oz. Nine ounces more than her birth weight!

We’ve got another midwife visit on day seventeen and we’re meeting our health visitor on Tuesday which is day fourteen.
All of our team, including my doctor and physiotherapist are happy with the pair of us. Even my bloods have stayed relatively stable (although in fairness I’m still taking double doses of my pre-natal vitamins and my biotin). We’re just waiting for her PKU results to come back, but so far so good.

Big &amp; Little

Big & Little

Anonymous said: If you don't mind me asking... did you tear this time? I'm pregnant with my second and had a 1st degree first time round (which really wasn't that bad) and am a bit nervous about this time (although I know everyone and every labour is different) xxx

I didn’t, I was extremely lucky given how quickly my labor progressed.
I always thought people saying every labor is different was a bit if a cop out (because surely your body would handle things in a similar way right?) but honestly just because you’ve torn once don’t assume it’ll happen again because it could be SO different.
Also worrying about tearing can have you going into labor stressed. The more stressed you are the more tense you are and the harder the pushing would be. Relaxing and trusting your body is the best way for you to try and avoid tearing.

Two days old


Anonymous said: How much do you weigh now?

This makes me feel weird because now I’m not pregnant anymore my weight seems significant in a different way.
That’s probably me being stupid though.
103.6lb as of this morning

Birth Story

We were at the hospital by ten to nine on Monday morning. The plan being that I would be monitored for an hour then induced by eleven.
Hospitals being hospitals, things happened and we ended up waiting around till 3pm for the process to start.

After being checked it was decided that I would have the twenty four hour slow release pessary as my cervix was still so thick and far back.
Like with Dylan we were told not to expect anything and yet within ten minutes I was contracting. I stayed hooked up to the monitor for just over an hour to make sure my uterus wasn’t suddenly hyper stimulated. Eventually we wandered off labor ward to meet my mum and Dylan in the hospital cafe for a drink. They left in time and went for a walk, searching for an ice lolly that we never ended up finding.
Ninety minutes later we were back on labor ward, I was contracting six times in every ten minutes (about every ninety seconds for forty seconds per contraction) and had started to feel minor pressure.

They checked me for the first time at 9pm. I was just about 1cm. I can’t say I wasn’t disappointed, I’d been contracting well and my body felt like it was progressing but apparently it wasn’t making much headway.
We went for another walk around nine, three laps around the hospital. By the final lap I had to stop walking every time a contraction hit me. They were lasting for a minute each time and hitting me every ninety seconds.
We got back to labor ward and waited another hour while they got stronger. When I reached the point that I couldn’t ride out the contractions in one position we called my midwife. Moving around through contractions was essential not helpful, it didn’t ease any pain I just couldn’t stay still.
I’d loaded the Harry Potter audiobooks onto my phone so I was pushing myself to handle the contractions silently, using the audiobooks as a way to focus.
After watching me for a few contractions my midwife decided to monitor me. I was moving around so much that most of my contractions weren’t picked up, those that were were measure the strength of the contractions of someone pushing. I wasn’t pushing though, not even close. It was 2.45am when they checked me and I was 2cm dilated.
This time I was genuinely devastated. The pain was hitting me in waves of agony and I was exhausted. 
So against using pain relief, I wanted an epidural. I couldn’t go through hours and hours of this pain. I needed to sleep and I needed to keep focused.
Until I reached 4cm all I could have was codeine. The doctor prescribed it at 3am. It takes an hour to kick in, I checked the time every contraction waiting for time to pass, waiting for the possibility of a break. Harrison fell asleep in the recliner and I went to the bathroom.

Sitting in there I realised that my contractions we coming faster and with each contraction I was pushing. I couldn’t stop. It was just about to turn 3.15am, I was in the tiny bathroom of our room on labor ward.
I staggered out the bathroom and doubled up over a chair, shouting at Harrison that I couldn’t stop pushing. He called our midwife while I contracted and pushed and panicked.
It felt like such a long time but in reality it can’t have been long at all before Harrison decided that in lieu of the midwife turning up he needed to get someone.
He came back with a doctor who started asking me about my induction, whether my waters had broken and how things felt. Contractions were coming twenty seconds apart, my answers didn’t make much sense they were so disjointed. She checked me over and everything changed, I had to get in the bed NOW. “Your baby is coming and I cannot deliver her next to a bin”. I protested, arguing that I was only 2cm dilated so this couldn’t possibly be happening, yet my body was pushing and I couldn’t control it. I had my first contraction on the bed at 3.27am. Suddenly my mind was focused again and I could make sense of things, as bewildering as they were, through the pain. I don’t know if it was genuine or not but the pain lifted, only slightly, but I could control it unlike before when it felt like it was tearing me apart. The doctor had to reach and pull out the pessary between contractions. My waters hadn’t broken, I could feel feel them surrounding her like they were preventing her from coming out. At 3.30am mid contraction they burst (all over my strawberries) and I felt her almost slip further down as if they really had been obstructing her. Three more contractions. One, I reached down and felt her head. Two, I could feel her moving around, stretching her arms up to her face. Three, she was born, face up with get hands by her ears. At 3.40am. She was straight onto my chest while we left her cord intact till she’d got all the blood then Harrison cut it. All around me people were walking in, talking and cleaning, my midwife came back from her break, another midwife trying to clean the room that was never meant for labor and another bringing in the equipment to weigh Isla and perform the first newborn tests. But all I could focus on was her. This new life on my chest. And I was so amazed. Not even an hour before I was broken and then suddenly she was here. Living, moving, breathing and perfect. And so much like her brother.
And the pain that had been washing over me for hours and hours had gone. Cliches aside, the light, weightless sensation I felt was so alien after months of pain. And I couldn’t believe that this tiny human had moments before been inside me. I’d grown and nourished her for months and suddenly she was in my arms. 


Isla Evelyn Griffiths Bogdanovs
Born Tuesday 23rd July 2013 at 3.40an
Weighing 5lb6oz

Isla Evelyn Griffiths Bogdanovs
Born Tuesday 23rd July 2013 at 3.40an
Weighing 5lb6oz

Anonymous said: How do you pronounce your daughters name


Anonymous said: Why do you refer to Isla as little bird sometimes?

The meaning of Evelyn (which will be her middle name) in Latin is ‘bird’.. In French it’s ‘little bird’..
The meaning of Isla is ‘river’ so I skipped the first name and went onto her middle name when finding a pet name for her.